The Jobless Blues

This is kind of like a cry out for help. I need you, whoever you are, to help me find an employer that will actually hire me. One that won't throw my CV out or move it to the "Trash" folder before reading the whole thing.

I'm eighteen and as of next week, I'll be available all weekend long, two full weekdays and any other weekday after 6pm. I'm still unsure about what days they are but don't let that throw you off as I receive my full, extensive timetable very soon (within the next two weeks).
I live in South-West Sydney and yes, I'm willing to travel. The most I'll travel is two hours on public transport as I don't drive. Again, please don't let that throw you off. Two hours is a long time.

I have a Higher School Certificate, a Certificate III in Live Production, Theatre and Events (Technical Operations), a Certificate III in Music Industry (Technical Production) and am currently undertaking a Diploma in the last mentioned course. I've been involved with running events since I was fifteen and I really do love it so a job within any of the above fields would be rad.

I won't work in a place where meat and cheese are shoved in my face on ten bucks an hour, where I'm bound by a 3-4 month contract and then get told I'll only get about fourteen hours a week. Fourteen hours on ten bucks?! That's a measly $140. Thanks but no thanks, Salsas Mexican Grill in Bondi. I'm eighteen with plenty of experience and decent qualifications. Screw you.

Why would I like a job? Well, being at home is crippling my mind, heart and soul. But I mainly would like job so that I can save up a stack of cash to go the States in August where I will hopefully be challenged and educated. So yes, I don't plan to stay with any employer for longer than six months. However, during those six months I will work my arse off and be as dedicated as I possibly can be.

Why should somebody hire me? Like I said, I'll be as dedicated as possible because I know that it's gonna take a lot of hard work to get to where I want to be. Apart from that, I can cook nice food for my colleagues; I know how to type pretty fast; I won't talk much therefore no annoying small talk that everybody secretly hates; I'm pretty sure I don't smell bad; I have two years service assistance experience from Coles Wattle Grove, around six months office assistance experience from Bankstown Youth Development Service and around six months waiting experience from Kam Ying Chinese Restaurant. Yep, I did a runner on Kam Ying but they were pretty shit employers and my dad didn't like me working there.

I'll work with books, clothes, shoes, groceries, CDs, records, tapes, animals (alive), flowers, tickets, kids and elderly people and those in between, electronics, fruits and veggies - almost anything! All I ask is to be paid decently and to be treated with respect.

What would happen if I sent something this honest to somebody? Would I get knocked back because I used swear words and told them that I want a job because I want money to leave the country for a little while? Nothing else seems to work so maybe I should give it a shot. Reckon emails will start rolling in telling me I'm hired? Yeah, me neither. Why the hell are other people being employed left, right and centre without even goddamn trying?!

Fuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkk.

Also, please only comment if you can genuinely help or if you have something nice to say. It's hardly a joke these days.

-S