When your body loses all sensibility and starts bringing on unprecedented illnesses, and your family erupts in feud and division. And you're attacked by leeches on some ridiculously beautiful cliff on the coast of the Tasman Sea. And when the one person you thought you could have something real, something awesome with is probably out fucking some other girl in another country on the other side of the world, like the rest of the ones from your past. And when first, your favourite dog in the world passes away and then your stepfather leaves the Earth too and your mother is mourning. And when all you've seen and all you've felt is the wettest Summer and the colour of the once blue Sydney sky is dark grey. And when your job is breaking you but nobody else will have you despite the past six years of your hard work.
When your world is filled with suffering and it is colourless and broken, when you're on top of a mountain and still you cannot smile, when your immunity to pain wears away and you cannot feel anything but an aching chest... How can you not ask for this year that has only just begun to be over? How do you rectify? How do you defy?
-S
