03 August 2009

This Monday Was Meant To Be A Fresh Start

Why am I so fucking terrible at everything I do?!
I suck arse at being a girl, a Muslim, a vegan, a student.
I don't even know how to keep my friends close to me anymore.
I tune out too easily in class and come quiz time, I've got no clue about what's just been said.
I wreck absolutely everything I own, be it clothes, instruments, books, shoes. Everything. Not to mention how much shit I lose.
I haven't gotten any better at guitar from what, two years ago? I'm still playing the same chords over and over and my fingers just can't do anything else.
My writing is woeful. It disgusts me.
I burst into tears at the drop of a hat - just like now.
I blame the universe for my misfortunes and the fact that I am and always have been single but that's just a distraction from the reality of it all.
One thing I'm good at doing is fucking up.



  1. You're so creative

    And you're free.

    Those two things are the most important I think.

    You're pretty good at leaving your Vaseline in my purse too.
    It's sitting next to me now =) you will get it back one day.

    I love you Stono.

  2. Some days we all feel like this... I think you rock and that you're a great writer. Keep on keeping on!!

  3. We just have to keep hanging on. <3

  4. oh dear!! sounds like me.. which is not a good thing!!

    like you're friends have said, keep hanging on, and you're an AMAZING, creative and free person.

    i think you need to go out with some friends and have a good time =]

    oh and vegan?! cool. i always wanted to but I can't give up fish.. so techincally i'm not even vegetarian but pescatarian. great icebreaker ^_^

    i'm sorry i dont comment more often =(


  5. Aw you guys are all beautiful. Thank you.

  6. you are not terrible at everything you do but are an amazing, dedicated, brilliant soul.
    <3 !!!

  7. OI! shut up!
    you will never feel better about yourself if you keep putting yourself down.

    there is no way you fail at everything you do,
    so you don't fit perfectly well into a particular category?
    so what?
    that my darling, just shows how amazing and unique you truly are.

    you are one of my closest friends, i am able to talk to you about everything and anything and i've only known you for less than a year now, i thank allah my annoying, immature gronk of a fiance has a wonderful sister like you, a wonderful sister who i am able to connect with and get along with so much.

    i'm in class right now, the tutor is explaining something, yes that's right... something.. since when does a student not tune out in class? honestly.

    things are meant to be broken and lost, it makes us more aware of our belongings next time to avoid breaking or losing them again, and if you were referring to technology, sometimes they design that shit in order for it to break at a particular time so that we'll upgrade. darn sneaky marketing designers.

    you are a talented guitarist and singer, i look forward to the tunes that i hear playing from your room when i'm over and hanging with pretty boy when he isn't busy prettying up =P
    you set me in a great mood.
    although i may not be musically orientated, i truly believe that where you're at right now, instrumentally, is not a bad place to be at all.

    your writing is tops, thats why i asked you above anyone else to help me with that stat dec, lol.

    so stop putting yourself down now Ai,
    take those sunnies off and look at the bigger picture now,
    you are beautiful, your eyes captivate everyone you look at.
    intelligent, be it academically and street wise.
    talented, taking care of your family and strumming your guitar whilst doing so.
    a wonderful listener, i look forward to ranting about my petty day to day mishaps with you.

    how can you not realise this about yourself.
    Ai Ai Ai....

    NEVER ever ever forget how important you are in this world.
    <3 you.
    i shall see you this Thursday night =)